Sunday 30 March 2008

Dear Barb

We met in the airport and you droned on about typing like the relentless little spamming entrepreneuse that you are. Didn't you see my hands? Do you really think typing is for the likes of me? I cut all of my letters out of newspapers and glue them down with blood and semen. Earning a few extra pounds from working at home would be a distraction from my real interests. I can grip scissors, knives, rocks, I can carve manifestoes in flesh - your offer is unwelcome.

Saturday 22 March 2008

Imperfect Features

Ye are commanded to procure an eligibly deciphered map, of not too ancient a date, comprising this land; and that thou shalt procure compasses ...

Wednesday 19 March 2008

What is YOUR Birth Salt?

(With ball-bearing feet and instructions)
Trumpets and all Psychic Appliances
Colonial and Foreign inquiries welcomed
List, Advice, Consultations

Tuesday 18 March 2008

Saturday 15 March 2008

Thursday 13 March 2008

Wednesday 12 March 2008

The Grove of Nemi (E6)

In this sacred grove there grew a certain tree round which at any time of the day, and probably far into the night, a grim figure might be seen to prowl. In his hand he carried a drawn sword, and he kept peering warily about him as if at every instant he expected to be set upon by an enemy. He was a priest and a murderer; and the man for whom he looked was sooner or later to murder him and hold the priesthood in his stead. Such was the rule of the sanctuary.

Sunday 9 March 2008

And in the forest, hanging by their hair, she found all his other wives in their wedding gowns

Fighting for women's suffrage we will also hasten the coming of the hour when the present society falls in ruins under the hammer strokes of the revolutionary proletariat
- Rosa Luxemburg 

Friday 7 March 2008

Monday 3 March 2008

What was in the box #1

or, How I found that I was a hare

Saturday 1 March 2008

All The News We'll Let You Read

Imperialist Fights in Imperialist War

A junior member of Britain's leading warmongering imperialist household has recently been fighting in an imperialist war of plunder. He has been fighting on behalf of the imperialist interests represented by his family. Given his inbred stupidity this was by no means guaranteed.

Young imperialist in regimental uniform

His hereditary rapacity is unsurprising. The press maintain that his participation in this war marks a coming-of-age for a young man previously only known for having a spoilt, rich, dead mother. Waging an imperialist war shows a new maturity, they say.

The press revelation came as this particular imperialist was withdrawn from this particular imperialist war. The imperialist war, though, continues.

Coverage of this story means we are unable to bring you any further news. Goodnight Vienna.