Saturday, 1 March 2008

All The News We'll Let You Read

Imperialist Fights in Imperialist War

A junior member of Britain's leading warmongering imperialist household has recently been fighting in an imperialist war of plunder. He has been fighting on behalf of the imperialist interests represented by his family. Given his inbred stupidity this was by no means guaranteed.

Young imperialist in regimental uniform

His hereditary rapacity is unsurprising. The press maintain that his participation in this war marks a coming-of-age for a young man previously only known for having a spoilt, rich, dead mother. Waging an imperialist war shows a new maturity, they say.

The press revelation came as this particular imperialist was withdrawn from this particular imperialist war. The imperialist war, though, continues.

Coverage of this story means we are unable to bring you any further news. Goodnight Vienna.

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